Monday, January 2, 2012

What I do when I blow it

A question that was posted on a support site I follow talked about how hard it can be to have patience with an Autistic child who just can't seem to get it or is intent on trying you and pushing your buttons on a given day or in a given situation.  The question was what shoud one do
in these situations and how does one keep their patience?

First of all, let me be clear that I don't claim to have all the anwers.  Especially not on this topic as I struggle with this too a lot of the time.  It's called living a challenging life with a household full of disabled and special needs family (all three of us have our issues and problems) and having to do it alone.  It gets hard, it gets challenging, and it definitely gets overwhelming at times.

A lot of good advice came from the topic being posted too.  Things like walk away, count to 10, step outside for a minute to get a breather, ect.  Below is what I added to the conversation.  I hope this can be of some help to someone like seeing the topic and responses helped me.  Even if it is just helpful to know you're not alone in this area. :)
original post can be found here

I tend to struggle with this too in the sense somedays I just can't take it anymore.  I don't tend to compare him to NT kids but that's most likely due to I don't have a lot of exposure to NT kids so it's not a topic that's on my mind.  I appreciate the advice and suggestions above too by they way.  I do some of those already and will probably try a couple of the others.

The main thing I try and remember though, especially when I mess up and/or lose my temper, is that I am not perfect and can't expect myself to be.  However I do my best and when I fall short of what I should have done or whatever, I do what I need to in order to calm down as soon as I recognize I lost it and then afterwards I take my son aside and apologize to him and comfort him.  Reminding him that even Mommy makes mistakes and messes up. 

I've found that it works well with both my sons as when ever they get mad or out of line and do something they shouldn't (whether on purpose or not) I always try and help them calm down and them make them apologize to the person they hurt.  So when they see Mommy putting herself in her own "timeout" and trying to chill or calm down and then coming back and apologizing it really seems to hit home with them and they seem to understand.


  1. Great post, I love your honesty.
    I take myself into time out. I have a lovely prayer chair in my conservatory. It's amazing how my kids have both learned this just through pure imitation.
    I also LOVE that I can be totally me with God and find he calms me right down and gives me wonderful inspiration.
    My boy goes to his numbers now to calm his mind and my girl goes to the piano.
    Thank you for sharing. :)
    Love and hugs.
    Lisa. xx :)

  2. Thank-you for sharing too. :) I appreciate the feedback and the extra input greatly. Those are all great ideas. :)