My "I knew it" moment was really a series of behaviors that weren't going away and he wasn't just "growing out" of them. Things like David's constant self abuse, the way he could lose himself in his meltdowns to the point he couldn't recogonize anyone or anything anymore (even me...), his smarts that waaaaaayyyy surpassed his age but yet he had so many severe delays physically and socially along with it, his seemingly constant need for calmer environments and "routine" experiences, his tendancy to so easily fall apart just because something suddenly looked different than he was used to or someone moved a car out of his line-up, the fact that he always lines everything up...
I have to admit I tried hard to look the other way for a while because I didn't want it to be true, but when others, like one of my friends that works with Autistic children all the time as a para teacher and a respite worker, started saying things too I started to get more nervous and then the doctors started saying things, and then I was at a special needs evaluation and treatment center for Joshua's hearing issues (David's brother) and when I came back out to the waiting room some of the staff was sitting there with my mom watching David and they litterally begged me to let them see him and evaluate him...
Kind of got hard to keep looking the other way at that point no matter how scared it was making me. That's around the time I first had someone help me change the way I look at it too by 1) educating me more about the whole spectrum and 2) reminding me that a diagnosis wouldn't change who my child was, it would only help change my struggle with finding and getting help for him.
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