A little distracted...

2 weeks until Christmas.  Usually I would be pretty excited about now, eagerly awaiting the day I get to watch my kids smile extra big and giggle and shout with glee as they discover all their surprises.  Getting a little
overwhelmed by the countdown as I try to sneak in the time needed to wrap and shop and prepare, but knowing it will all be worth it.  Anticipating the evening before where we bake a cake and hopefully get to attend a Christmas Eve service.

This year I still think of all those things and still in a lot of ways am excited and anticipating the big day, but right now...  I'm struggling to get past the memory of someone who should be more than just a memory...  A husband, father, friend...  a man who once loved me and our children... a man whom I still love with all my heart even though the pain tends to suggest often that maybe I shouldn't... 

Abandonment hurts most at times like these...

we miss you...